Beyond Connections, to Building Relationships

It is news to no one that when it comes to marketing, relationships trump everything.

A challenge in the pursuit of this asset is to recognize the difference between connections and relationships. (Or, for that matter, the difference between followers or fans and relationships.)

At the risk of oversimplifying, establishing connections is relatively easy. Building and nurturing relationships is not.

Networking events can yield scores, even hundreds of business cards. Devote the time, and it is possible to connect with thousands via social platforms like Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Add a budget to the equation and it is possible to grow a contact list exponentially.

And while making contact is where it begins, a connection does not constitute a relationship. Relating with an individual or a company (sorry about this) almost always requires two things – dialogue and shared experience. And this, for many, is where it gets tricky.

If we misunderstand what constitutes dialogue, we’re in for a long, winding, and likely frustrating journey.

We’ve long acknowledged the fact that communication is critical to building and nurturing relationships. The problem — or at least part of the problem — comes in the way marketing communication is typically defined. Most of the time we act as though communication is a one-way street. The result is the creation of entire web sites, advertising campaigns, and collateral communication materials that, with varying degrees of effectiveness, begin and end with telling a story.

Even when the story is compelling and well told, there is a problem: the real strength in a relationship is derived more from listening than from the delivery of a message. In fact, when it comes to nurturing a relationship, Listening may be the single most powerful and most under-utilized communication tool there is.

Time for a pause long enough to re-think that last sentence.

We all know this. We experience it every day with family, friends and in the workplace.

The more time I spend listening to those with whom I most want relationships, the closer I get to something made from fabric that transcends a satisfied customer and approaches a loyal (read “Something that will last”) friend… or even fan.

(And at the risk of pointing out the obvious – what holds true in business and marketing is doubly true with respect to personal relationships.)

For years the sophisticated marketing organization has invested in research and business intelligence in an effort to identify needs, test products and understand what will prompt the market to buy. But a process where a service provider or company makes calculated investments in dialogue – in listening to the target market’s story — that has been rare.

But the times, they are a changing.

The so-called (and ill-named) social media afford every organization a way to listen to its market. Those still in need of a reason to develop a “social” strategy need look no further.

What should a company or service organization do to develop loyal, lasting relationships? Invest at least as much time listening as you do delivering a message to your market. In fact, ask the right two or three questions, listen closely, and your market will tell you exactly what it takes to move from contact to relationship.

And two things are apt to occur. You’ll likely end up revising the way you tell your story; and you’ll be driven to focus on the second part of the relationship equation – the customer / client experience. That’s fodder for our next post.

Eric Fletcher