Social media truly never does sleep but what I find is that social media is very reactive. You have to put out to get back so at some point, usually late at night, you simply have to put a hard stop in place. That is hard for me since I am a content producer on Twitter and since I think in 140 characters naturally I am always spitting out content. Since I have come to realize that I can survive on 4 hours sleep for many nights in a row, but anything less than that does not work, I know I cannot carve anymore time out of the day, so 2am is usually my hard stop when I find myself going overboard.
Order and consistency is all in how you perceive what you are doing and how you maintain your connection to what is important. My personal brand, and who I am, is all about being responsive and creating trust and relationships. So I find the social media world, and all the connectivity it affords, a perfect medium for maintaining connection and consistency.
When it comes to my daughters social media tools are out of the mix. I can check Facebook to see what they may be up to, the only tool they use (fortunately as I do not believe these are good things for kids), but the last thing teenagers (13 & 15) want is their Dad communicating with them in a visible format. I stick to primarily text and phone calls. They rarely check email, but before I fly I always, always send them an email to remind them how much they mean to me and how much I truly love them… just in case, so they will always know.
I think looking to social media, apps or otherwise, is a critical mistake too many parents are making with their children. It is face-to-face and truly paying attention and being involved in what they do that is so very important in their development.
I have been fortunate enough to build deep, rewarding relationships with a host of Mommy Bloggers and since I share being a divorced Dad of teenage girls I have gotten so much valuable advice, feedback and input that doing what I do has made me a better, more sensitive and insightful Dad.
Sometimes I am asked “if I had just one hour to do something with my girls, what would that be?” At this point… anything I would be doing “with” them. When they were young and I really had a choice I would say swimming with them because it was so interactive.
Some ask me how has being a dad changed my perception to my work. That’s like saying “How has being a dad changed your perception about everything.” It makes it all about what you can do for your kids and how you can make their lives better. Simple.
In business I am known for preaching about the importance of relationships. If there is one legacy I would truly love to pass along to my girls, that has to be It’s all about relationships… and never give up on something you believe in, never. My dad taught me about never giving up and always being there for your friends and family… that says it all.
My dream day… Skiing with my girls and them truly wanting to be there with me
Ted Rubin
“…. my girls and them truly wanting to be there with me”
Great post Ted! I wanted to offer at least one comment, and I will zero in on the above reference.
In additional to my businesses, up until 6 years ago or so I was also a Division I men’s soccer coach. Wherever we traveled nearly all the parents followed. I observed freshmen being somewhat cold and resistant to their parents. In their sophomore year, the ice started to melt somewhat. Usually by the Junior year a light bulb went off and they were thrilled to see mom AND dad. A lot of the machismo and bravado from these boys had worn off and the reality of themselves becoming men and forging their own life, in and around their parents was setting in. At this point, they desperately wanted their parents to attend games and to spend time with them at the hotel before games.
Looking at my own son who will be 21 in March, I see a lot of this with him. Though he and I are, and have been close, we too went through the “terrible teen” years. I now see in him a young man who is starting to realize that I won’t be here forever and we ought treasure the time that we do have.
This is why when he wants to spend time with me, short of breaking prior commitments, when he wants me there, I will drop everything to do so.
My last point is simple, yet will sound dumb. I realize that I am a better parent today than I was 5 years ago, and that I am still a work in progress. As my boy turns into a man, I too am becoming better at my role.
Great post, Ted! So true. And a good reminder to send a message to my kiddos before I fly next week, too.